By Tonight
by clumsybrunette
Summary: Kallista hasn't had the easiest life but will everything change when she falls for our favorite biker bad boy?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything other than my original characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 1: SSDD or maybe not?

I walked up to the only home I had ever really known and put my key in the lock. I knew he was in there, Chibs, the man who had been a father to me since my mother passed away when I was 9 years old. I had to tell him something and I wasn't quite sure how he was going to take it. I didn't take it all that well myself. I was so scared of disappointing him. He had been so good to me for all that time and I knew I was about to break his heart. My best friend Kendra had assured me he would be fine and not to be scared so I took a deep breath and turned the knob to enter the house.

"Uncle Chibs?" I called out.

"Kallista? What ye doin' home so soon?" He asked as I walked into the kitchen. He had his back to me as he looked through the fridge.

"I had an appointment today." I replied and sat at the table to brace myself for what I had to tell him.

"I didn't know ye had one." He said and turned around to face me, my face fell, "What's wrong, love?"

"I don't really know how to tell you this so I'm just gonna say it, okay?" he nodded so I continued, "I'm pregnant." I kept looking at my feet and waited for him to respond while a single tear went down my cheek. I heard him sit in the chair across from mine and saw his feet near mine.

He lifted my chin so I would look at him, "Aye, it's alright, love, I'm not mad, it'll be okay." He said and wiped my tear away before pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back and cried into his shoulder for a minute before he released me and I sat back and wiped my tears with the back of my sleeve. I was so grateful that he wasn't upset with me. I was terrified because my boyfriend had already run off and left me here to deal with everything. I knew Chibs was gonna ask about him so I spoke up and told him before he could.

"Brad ran off and I don't know what to do. I'm so scared and I don't know anything about babies, hell, I haven't ever changed a diaper! What am I going to do?" I said and put my head in my hands.

"Aye, lass, it's gonna be fine, everyone will help ye. They wouldn't think twice about it. Would it help if ye talked t Gemma?" He asked me concern evident in his tone all I could do was nod. I heard him get up and make a phone call before telling me to drive to the clubhouse and he'd follow me on his bike. (I had my own car so he wouldn't have to make me ride the bike everywhere) We arrived at the clubhouse not long after and he pulled up right behind me. I got out and he came up and walked with me. Jax and Opie were in the garage working on a car and I couldn't bear to look at them. I knew once they found out they were gonna be pissed at me. They were around three years older than me and didn't hang around me much but they were just as protective as the older men in the club. Chibs walked me into the office where Gemma was waiting and held her arms open for me to hug her when I walked in. I heard Chibs whisper that he was going to go to the garage while we talked and the door closed behind him.

"Tell me everything, baby" Gemma said to me and I did. She held me and listened while I spilled everything to her. She didn't look mad or anything the entire time and I was thankful to have someone so understanding in my life especially as all that was happening to me.

"How far along are you?" She asked.

"8 weeks. I'm due July 28th." I told her and she nodded and stood up to mark her calendar. "What are you doing?"

"Well, if my favorite young lady is having a kid no matter how old she is I am going to be happy about it. I am going to spoil this child beyond belief." She told me and I laughed for the first time that day.

"Thanks, Gem. I needed that." I said and she hugged me.

"Good, now no more tears. We need to get you in the right mood. All smiles and happiness for the new arrival to our happily dysfunctional family." She laughed and took my hand to lead me into the clubhouse. I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell everyone but I did know that if Gemma was on my side that no one would give me shit about it. She told the prospect to get everyone in there and he hastily ran off to do so. I watched as the guys came in and Jax and Opie eyed me suspiciously. I looked at my feet.

"Listen up, Our family is going to have a new addition in July! Our favorite girl here is having a baby!" Gemma said excitedly and many of the guys in the clubhouse came up to hug me telling me congratulations and things of the sort but there were two sets of arms that go around me for a hug and I knew exactly who they were. I looked around while all the females were in deep conversation about all the baby things I would need and spotted Jax and Opie by the door they had come in looking pissed and they walked outside. I knew why they were pissed so I just played with my fingers and tried not to think about it. I tried to cheer up as all the women talked to me about their experiences in giving birth and being pregnant. I responded to their questions and nodded as though I was listening to them but I was worried about Jax and Opie hating me. We weren't best friends or anything but their opinions meant a lot to me and I always wanted to make them proud. I was starting to get tired so I said my goodbyes and made my way to my vehicle outside.

I saw Opie and Jax out of the corner of my eye and avoided looking over at them. I knew it would only make me feel worse. They hadn't said a word to me since Gemma announced my pregnancy. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and drove home.

**A/N:**

**Well, that's Chapter 1, hope its good. I am trying to stay positive about it and I am hoping that this story doesn't suck. I am going to have more drama and stuff later but this one is just kind of a starting point. I don't know if anyone will like this one but if you do or don't feel free to tell me and if you want you can tell me what you do or don't like. I doubt if I got Chibs accent right in the dialogue but I tried. I have high hopes for this story and many ideas for it. If there is anything you would like to happen let me know and I might throw it in here as well. I've written fanfiction before but never for SOA so I may not get everything right. I don't mind constructive criticism however, I will not tolerate being being rude or slamming me with hate.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters.

Chapter 2: Clubhouse Labor

_Kallista is at the end of her pregnancy at this point*_

I had finally reached the 38 week mark in my pregnancy and I had finished the end of my school year on a good note, my teachers were all happy that I took AP classes and my favorite female teacher had agreed to tutor me after the baby arrived so that I could graduate early which Gemma was thrilled about. Jax and Opie never really told me why they were pissed or even if they were pissed I didn't have time to think about it much, so I just pushed thoughts of them out of my head. Most of the guys in the MC were really helpful, Chibs fussed over me more than Gemma did and always called me when he was on a run to make sure I was alright. He had the prospects keep an eye on me when he was away and wouldn't let me drive after my sixth month, he always had Gemma take me to my appointments and she stayed with me sometimes when he was away so that someone would be there in case of an emergency. To say I was well taken care of would be an understatement. She was beyond excited when I went to find out what it was and practically screamed when the ultrasound tech informed us it was a girl. My best friend Kendra was there as well and was exstatic. She was 18 and decided to move in with me and help me with the baby, that way Gemma could still take care of the office and also so I wouldn't be alone. I think she wanted to stay more out of her love for me and the fact that she was completely infatuated with the newest patched member named Juice. I didn't care what her reasons were I was just happy that she was there. She kept me sane and always cheered me up when I got sad. I was so nervous about giving birth that the mere thought or mention of it had about a million pictures running through my head she always calmed me down. We were going through names one day trying to find one that we both liked when I felt my very first contraction.

"What do you think of Carolyn?" She asked me from the couch. I was sitting at the desk a few feet from her.

"I don't know its a bit old-fashioned. OW!" I couldn't help but yell. It felt like the worst cramp I had ever experienced.

"What is it?" Kendra asked jumping off the couch and running over to me.

"I think I just had a contraction." I said nervously. Her eyes got big and she put her hands on my large belly.

"Are you okay? Should we call someone?" She asked in a hurry. I think she was freaking out more than I was.

"I'm fine. I am going to call Gemma. Its probably Braxton Hick's." I said and got my phone off the desk to dial her number. She picked up on the first ring.

"Gemma, I think I had a contraction." I said calmly. I felt fine after it stopped.

"How many? Are you okay? Did your water break?" she asked sounding concerned.

"1, yes, and no it didn't, do you think it could have just been false labor?" I asked getting nervous.

"If you have anymore call the doctor. I think you're right, but I am gonna head on over to make sure okay?" She finished and I agreed. I figured I should go lay down and Kendra walked with me to my room. She sat in the chair at my desk near my bed while I laid down and we waited for Gemma to arrive.

We waited for awhile and finally heard a car pull up. Gemma wasn't the only one who came walking in to my room. Kendra went out saying she was hungry as Gemma sat next to me on my bed and her son Jax sat at my desk.

"How ya feeling?" She asked.

"I feel fine now. It was just one sharp pain across my belly and then nothing. She is still moving around in there. I guess it was a false alarm." I replied feeling my baby kick me right in the bladder I winced and a worried look spread across Gemma's face. I shook my head and sat up.

"Gotta go to the bathroom." I told her and she let out a breath she had been holding. She told Jax to help me to the bathroom while she fixed me something to eat. He didn't say anything just stood up and walked behind me in case I fell or something. I stumbled a bit in the hallway and he put his hands on my back for support and I jerked away from him.

"I'm fine and I don't need your help." I told him angrily as I walked away from him and shut the bathroom door. I didn't want him helping me. He hadn't talked to me since I got pregnant and I didn't want anything to do with him. I did my business and opened the door to find him still standing there. I rolled my eyes and started to slowly walk down the hallway to the kitchen. He was still behind me as I walked. He was quiet and I was glad, I didn't want to hear anything he had to say anyway. I sat at the table across from Kendra and he walked outside. Gemma was at the stove cooking something that smelled great and Kendra was texting someone on her phone smiling like crazy the whole time. I was starting to get annoyed and restless.

"Why did you have to bring him, Gem?" I asked and sat back in my chair.

"Oh yeah, I know you probably don't want him here and all but some stuff went down in Oakland the other day and Clay wants him to keep a close eye on us for awhile. He doesn't want anything to stress you out right now." She replied as she brought me a plate of food.

"Oh, is Chibs okay?" I asked worried.

"Oh yeah, he's fine. He's at the Cara Cara helping Bobby." She told me and I was relieved. We all ate quietly and when we were all finished Kendra cleaned up. Gemma's phone rang and she said we needed to head to the clubhouse for awhile. I nodded and grabbed my phone from the living room on the way out the door. I passed Jax without saying a word to him and he followed Gemma's SUV on his bike as we drove to TM. It seemed the more he was around the more annoyed I got and I found myself feeling really aggravated without knowing the exact reason.

We got to the clubhouse and parked at the front. We all got out and I almost fell out of Gemma's car but Jax was right beside it and helped me. I let him help me and then when I was safely on the ground I pulled away from him. He huffed and walked off. That just made me more frustrated because he had no right to be mad at me. I wasn't the one who was being a dick. I rolled my eyes and walked into the clubhouse. Juice was at one of the tables on his laptop so Kendra went to see what he was up to and Gemma went to the office to find Clay which left me alone. One of the prospects was behind the bar and offered me a soda I took it and checked my phone. Nothing, as usual. I put my headphones on and cranked my music up after I sat on the couch. I closed my eyes and rested for awhile before someone tapped my shoulder and I looked up to find Opie standing there. I took my headphones out and sat up as he sat in a chair next to me.

"Hey, what are you all doing here?" He asked nicely. I could tell he was trying to get me to talk to him and I wanted to know what it was all about so I answered him.

"Honestly, I don't know. I would much rather be at home in bed." I said exasperated.

"I hear that. Um, I'm sorry for not talking to you lately, I have been real busy at the garage and dad got sick again not long ago I haven't done much else." He told me.

"Its fine, Ope. I don't know why you stopped talking to me in the first place but I have bigger things to worry about at the moment ya know?" I said and pointed to my belly.

He nodded and looked at his feet, "Look, I feel real bad about that, I don't really know why either. I just didn't know what to say." He said and I knew he was holding something back.

"What? Opie, look, I know that we aren't all that close and trust me I wasn't too thrilled when I first found out I was pregnant but I had to get used to it and what I don't understand is that you guys were always around and always helping me before but when I really needed you and Jax you both just started ignoring me and you know what that hurt! I mean I know I'm not actually family but I always felt like I was until you guys started acting like that, ya know what? I'm done with this conversation." I told and I got up and went to the apartment in the back. Kendra came in a couple minutes later and sat on the bed with me.

"What's wrong?" She asked putting an arm around me. I didn't feel like going through everything so I just shook my head.

"Let's talk names again." I said and smiled. She knew something was wrong but didn't want to push it so she nodded and we started discussing names. We had been talking about it for awhile when Gemma told us she was going to go into town and get a few things she said most of the guys were gone but if we needed anything to let Jax know. We told her we'd be fine and she left. We kept talking about names and I finally thought of a first name.

"Oh, what about Kyla?" I asked my friend.

"That's really pretty! What about a middle name?" She asked.

"Well, I have been looking at Irish names. I figured I could name her something Irish in honor of Chibs ya know? He's everything my dad wasn't and he treats just like he would his own daughter." I said and she smiled and nodded. I pulled up a baby name website on my phone and found the name I wanted. 

"Kyla Ryanne Meadows." I said and she smiled and nodded in agreement. We talked about the baby for a little bit longer before we both fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later and she was gone but had left me a note.

_Kalli,_

_Went to the house. Juice picked me up. Didn't want to wake you. Jax is still here if you need anything and Gemma will get you in the am. Figured you needed the rest. _

_Love,_

_Kendra 3_

I shook my head and laughed. I knew the real reason Juice had picked her up and it wasn't so he just drop her off. I knew they would end up together. I used the bathroom and went to the bar for another soda when my phone went off. It was a text from Gemma.

_G- This is Clay. Gemma got picked up for assault. They are keeping her tonight. Call if you need me._

_K- Again? Lol. If I need you I will._

_G- Yup. Gonna pick her up in the morning. Night kid._

I put my phone away and quietly sat at one of the tables to drink my soda. I saw Jax sleeping on the couch and rolled my eyes at him. I had the glass in my hand when I felt the first one. I dropped the glass and he jumped up wide awake and ran over to me.

"Kalli, you okay?" He asked stepping on the shards of glass on the floor.

"I don't know. Jax, the glass be careful." I told him. He walked to the bar and got the broom to clean it up. He leaned in front of where I was sitting and cleaned my mess up. I felt another one as he went to stand and I knew it wasn't false labor this time. I grabbed his arm before he walked away and closed my eyes.

"Oh God, not now, you can't be in labor now." He said pleadingly to me.

"Its not like I can stop it Jax, its happening." I replied when the contraction eased, I let go of his arm and he took the broom back. I stood up and another one hit, I gripped the edge of the table.

"Just sit back down, okay? I'll be right back." He said and he went to put his cut on and picked his phone up off the table.

"Jax, Gemma is in the clink and Kendra is probably fucking Juice's brains out. Clay is asleep and Chibs isn't in the area right now. I need you to calm down and come here." I told him right before I felt something warm on my legs. I looked down and sure enough my water had broken.

"What do I do?" He said when he got over to me.

"First, don't step in that, second, get my phone and keys out of the room." I told him and he saw what he was about to step in, he went and did what I told him. He handed me my phone and helped me up and outside. My car was at Chibs' house so he grabbed some keys from the garage and started one of the cars they had for these kinds of situations. He helped me into the passenger and hastily ran to the driver's side and started the engine. I dialed my doctor and told her what was going on and she said she'd meet us at the hospital. We got there much quicker than I had anticipated and we were checked in quickly. He stayed in the waiting room while the doctor checked me and only came back in when I called for him. He held my hand when the contractions hit and he stayed pretty calm once we were at the hospital. He hadn't freaked since my water broke and I was surprised. They couldn't give me an epidural because I had dilated too much when I got there so I was feeling everything. I told him I didn't want him to see anything when I was pushing so the doctor told him to get behind me on the bed and kind of hug me. I didn't have time to think about being pissed at him and I didn't want to be alone. They told me to start pushing and an hour after pushing my daughter was here. They cleaned her up and brought her to me. I saw her face and heard her cry and then I passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the original characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 3: Beauty

I woke up and felt like I had slept for a week. I looked beside me and there was a small cradle with my daughter inside. I smiled and pressed the nurse button. My throat felt like I had swallowed sandpaper. She brought me a drink and said that some of my family had come to see me. I told her to let them in and she walked out.

Jax and Gemma came in followed by Clay, Chibs, Kendra, Juice, and Opie. They all smiled at me and everyone gave me a hug except Jax and Opie. I waved them both over and they each gave me a hug.

"Well, she is the prettiest little girl ever, Kalli." Gemma said as she picked the baby up.

"Thank you, her name is Kyla Ryanne Meadows." I said proudly and Chibs looked at me when he heard her middle name. He winked at me.

"Sorry I left, babe, I feel horrible that I wasn't here." Kendra said almost crying.

"Its fine, Kendra, how were you supposed to know? Plus, Jax did a pretty good job." I replied laughing at the end.

"Yeah right, I just about had a heart attack." he said laughing.

"Gotta admit you are pretty lucky. You got to be the second person to hold her." I told him and he nodded. Kyla was now being held by Chibs and he was smiling down at her proudly.

"By the way, what happened?" Gemma asked looking at me and Jax. I told her everything that happened and everyone listened.

"Why did you pass out?" Kendra asked and I shrugged and looked to Jax to answer that one for me.

"They said you lost a lot of blood and you're body went into shock. They handed me the baby and started working on stopping the bleeding. You had me scared. She didn't even cry once while you were out. Guess she was waiting on her momma." He replied. We all sat and talked for awhile before I started getting tired again and it was time to feed Kyla. Everyone stepped out while the nurse came in and showed me how to breastfeed. I got the hang of it and when Kyla was finished I asked the nurse to send my family back in. 

"Ye did a good job, lass." Chibs told me and kissed my forehead. Gemma said she agreed and was gonna talk to the doctor before coming back. Everyone told me goodbye and I asked Jax and Opie to stay for a minute. I wanted to talk to them.

"What's up, Kalli?" Opie asked.

"I don't know why and honestly I don't want to know why you guys didn't talk to me for so long, but I am happy you're both here, and I know you are gonna be great to her. I love you guys." I said and smiled. They both hugged me and kissed the baby before they left. Gemma came back in soon after and told me they were gonna send me home the next day. I thanked her and she took the baby so could sleep for awhile. She woke me up to feed her throughout the night and then before we knew it, it was time to go. I was scared to take her home but Gemma assured me that I would do fine. She was driving us home, she said she'd come back later on she had to check on a few things at TM and then she'd be back. Opie had come over while she was gone. I didn't know where Kendra was but I figured she'd be home sooner or later so I wasn't worried. Opie stayed with me while Gem was gone and he said he was gonna wait outside but I told him he could come in. He sat on the couch and watched tv while I showered and the baby was asleep. I got out and when I was all cleaned up and feeling better I went to the baby's crib but she wasn't in there. I went to the living room and Opie was holding her. I went over to where he was standing with her and he gave her to me.

"You're a great mother, Kalli." he said and smiled at me. I thanked him and his phone went off.

"Jax is here. I'm gonna split. See ya tomorrow." He said to me and kissed the baby's cheek before he went out.

"Hey, darlin, how's it going?" He asked me when he walked in.

"Good." I replied and put the baby in her bassinet so I could cook. I heard him talking to her a few minutes later and sure enough he was holding her.

"You're going to have her spoiled before she's a week old." I laughed.

He smiled at me, "Of course, a baby this beautiful deserves to be spoiled." he told me. I shook my head at him and went back to cooking. I finished and he came in the kitchen still holding her. 

"I think someone is hungry, Mommy." He said and handed her to me. I took her in the living room while he ate and fed her. When she was finished I took her into the kitchen and ate. Gemma got there not long after and he left. I felt odd after he left. I wasn't sure why. I assumed it was that I was just lonely and I let it go. Gemma helped me bathe her and then she went home for the night. I wasn't too scared to be alone with Kyla. I figured I could manage.

_-We are going to skip a few months here-_

Kyla was growing so much and she was the smartest thing, she definitely had everyone wrapped around her chubby little fingers and they knew she did. She was spoiled, of course, not that I minded. I was happy to know she had so many people in her life. It was odd though, Jax went from avoiding me to being around almost everyday. He would come over after work pretty much everyday and when the tutor started coming about a month ago he would take Kyla and watch her so I could focus on my schoolwork. He was a great help and if I was being honest, I liked seeing him with her. It made me look at him differently. I don't know when I started to notice him like that but it happened nonetheless. He went on runs with the other guys but not as many as he used to and he even stopped leaving the room when I would breastfeed her. He didn't stare or anything he'd just sit there and talk to me while she ate. It didn't bother me a bit. It was nice to talk and I always covered up once she latched anyway. Kendra had moved out when Kyla was a week old. She decided to move in with Juice because they were getting serious and she wanted Kyla to have her own room. I didn't argue with her and she came by often. I thought I would be lonely with her gone but Jax and Gemma were around so much I didn't get a chance. They didn't bother me though. Chibs decided to help Clay get some things straightened out in Belfast so I pretty much had the whole house to myself. It was Kyla's fourth month here to the day and I smiled as I laid her down for a nap when my phone went off.

_Kendra- Is it okay if I come by?_

_Kalli- Just laid ky down, come on over._

_Kendra- Be there soon_

As I waited for my friend to get there I got to work on the dirty dishes. There weren't many being as it was just me in the house but I washed them anyway and when I got finished I heard her pull up. I went to the door and invited her inside. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"What's up?" I asked her. She didn't answer she just held up her left hand to reveal an engagement ring. I smiled and hugged her.

"Congratulations! When did this happen?" I asked excited for her.

"Last night. He surprised me! I'm so excited!" She said happily. We talked about what her plans were and then Kyla woke up. She helped me with her and then left. I thought about how happy I was for her and realized I was a bit jealous also. I wanted someone to love me that much. I didn't know if I would ever have that. I knew most guys didn't care if you had a child but I felt like I was getting left behind. I heard Jax's motorcycle so I wiped the tear that had slipped and went into the kitchen with Kyla so I could get a drink.

"Hello! Anybody home?" I heard him call.

"In here." I replied and he walked into the kitchen. I turned and he was smiling at me. I gave him a look and he pulled some flowers from behind his back.

"What are these for?" I asked as he handed them me.

"You're kidding? Its your 18th birthday!" He told me.

"I can't believe I forgot my own birthday!" I said and he laughed. I gave him Kyla so I could put the flowers in water. 

"There's another surprise waiting for you outside." He said when he gave Kyla back to me. I eyed him as he led me out to the driveway. I looked and there was a shiny new SUV with a big purple bow tied to the top.

"Jax, you didn't?" I said to him.

"You deserve it darlin'," he said taking Kyla, "that car was too small for you and her. Plus, Chibs picked out the rest of us just paid for it."

"Thank you so much!" I said and hugged him. I could've cried.

"Also, Gemma is waiting for you and Kyla at her place she wants to give you your gift there." He smiled and handed me the keys.

I told him goodbye and put Kyla in her carseat to head to Gemma's. I pulled up and took Kyla inside.

"Gem?" I called out and she came in reaching for the baby, I handed her to Gemma.

"Jax send you?" She asked and I nodded she gestured for me to follow her so I did. She led me into her bedroom and there was a very pretty purple dress on a hanger laying across her bed. I was shocked.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"You have a party waiting for you at the clubhouse. And don't worry about this little angel she is staying with me tonight. You are going to party till you drop." She said and iw as floored.

"Gemma, thank you so much!" I told her.

"Well, hurry and change so I can doll you up!" She ordered me laughing, I put the dress on and she came in and put Kyla in the bassinet she kept here. She took me to her vanity and started working on my hair. When she finished that she did my makeup and gave me the cutest pair of black heels to wear. I thanked her and put them on before looking in the mirror. My long, chestnut brown hair was pulled up in a crazy beautiful updo with a few strands hanging down and my brown eyes had been enhanced by the bright purple eye shadow she had applied and the dark eyeliner made them pop, and my eyelashes looked like they belonged to someone else as long as they looked. She topped it all off with a dark red purple lipstick. I didn't know who I was looking at in the mirror. I never thought I could look so pretty, I was petite and had skinny legs of course breastfeeding had enlarged my chest quite a bit so I actually thought I looked hot for once. I thanked her again and then left to get to my party.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the original characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 4: Birthday Party

I pulled up to the clubhouse to see that they had strung up purple and black balloons and streamers everywhere. I loved it. I got out and went inside to find even decorations than there were outside. They all had noise makers and confetti and when I stepped in they went crazy. I was lifted up by someone and when they put me down so I could stand, I looked up at Chibs.

"Thank you!" I said and hugged him tight.

"Don't thank me, thank Jackie boy." He told me and I turned around to find Jax grinning like a fool at me.

"Thank you so much Jax, I love it!" I told him and reached up to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at me and led me to my cake. They all sang happy birthday to me, very badly might I add. After cutting the cake everyone started getting me shots and soon the party was in full swing. I went to the bathroom and came back to find someone had put a slow song on and all the couples were dancing together. I saw it and backed up right into someone. It was Jax.

"Where ya goin', darlin'," He asked and I could smell the alcohol on his breath, "your party is this way." And he pointed to where everyone was.

"I was just going to step outside for a minute. A bit hot in here." I replied.

"Follow me." He said and took my hand, pulling me towards the back door. When we were outside he let my hand go.

"Thanks." I said and leaned against the wall. He offered me a cigarette and I took it. I had smoked before but only on occasion.

"So, enjoyin' yourself?" He asked and I nodded looking away from him as I took a long drag from the cigarette. We stood not saying anything for a minute before either of us spoke.

"Are you gonna tell me why you really came out here?" He asked me and I shrugged, "Come on, tell me."

I sighed and looked at him, "Honestly?" I asked and he nodded, "I couldn't stand to watch all the couples dancing together."

"Why?" He asked and I just shook me head at him.

"I don't know, Jax, I know I should be happy that everyone did this for me and I am, but I can't help but feel lonely. I have Kyla and I love her but I don't know I can't explain it."

"I get it." He replied.

"I don't think you do." I told him as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. "Jax, am I pretty?"

"What?" He asked.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" He nodded, "Then why am I single? Why do I only have my daughter? My best friend is getting married and I am happy for her but I also can't stop myself from thinking, 'why isn't that me?' 'why don't I have that?' what's wrong with me?" I finished crying.

"Don't ever think you aren't pretty Kyla. You are gorgeous and any guy would be lucky to have you." I scoffed at his words. He walked over to me, "Look at me," I looked at him and he continued, "any guy who doesn't think you are the most beautiful thing on this earth is wrong. And probably crazy." He finished smiling.

"Why should I believe you?" I asked him and when I took a deep breath I could smell his cologne and a mixture of smoke, grease, and alcohol.

He didn't answer me he just leaned down and pressed his lips to mine gently. I kissed him back and put my fingers in his hair. He put one hand on my back pulling me closer and the other on the wall behind us. It felt so perfect until he pulled away. I felt like he was rejecting me but he just shook his head and smiled at me before taking my hand and leading me inside. He motioned for me to be quiet as he led me to the apartment inside the clubhouse and shut the door behind him. Before he could take a step I kissed him and he picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist and turning around so my back was to the door. He started kissing my neck and I couldn't help but moan, he kept moving down kissing and nibbling my skin as he went when he got to my shoulder he pushed the strap down and found my weak spot, I dug my nails into his back when he nibbled on it. He brought his mouth back to mine and started running his hand up my thigh. I leaned back and he pulled me forward so he could move us to the bed. After he laid me down on the bed he sat up and took my right leg in his hand started taking my shoe off.

"These are sexy as hell, by the way." He said quietly, I could hear desire dripping from his every word. He removed my shoe and kissed the inside of my ankle sending shivers up my spine. He did the same thing on the other side and when he brought his mouth back to mine I was on the verge of begging him to take me. He reached between us and touched me through the thin cloth I had on under my dress and I felt him smile against my lips when I arched my back pushing myself closer to him. He sat back up pushed my dress up under my breast and hooked his thumbs on wither side of my barely there underwear and slowly pulled them down. I groaned in anticipation and he shed himself of his pants and boxers before grabbing a foil wrapper from the nightstand and rollling the latex over his length. He kissed me again and rubbed himself against my most intimate parts. I moaned and he took that as his cue and he thrusted fully into me. There was a bit of pain but being I was intoxicated I didn't feel it much. All I felt was pleasure and it wasn't long until his thrusting brought us both to our climax. I moaned his name over and over and when he came he kissed me hard and then collapsed. We stayed like that for a bit before either of us moved. I smiled and he kissed me before tossing the condom in the trash and helping me up. He put his arms around me when I stood.

"That was amazing." He told me and I nodded before kissing him again. I put my panties in his pocket and put my shoes back on while he straightened his hair up some and then when we were both presentable enough we walked out into the hall. He pulled me in for one more kiss before we went back to the party and the rest of the night was fantastic. I danced and partied like no other. He stayed close all night and when the party was over and I was telling my guests goodbye he came over and asked if I wanted a smoke. I nodded and we went outside. He held my hand and when we watched the last vehicle pull out of the lot he pulled me to him for another long kiss before he took off as well. I smiled to myself and went back inside to crash. I woke up twelve hours later in the clubhouse apartment with a major hangover and a very sore vagina. I remembered what had happened and smiled as I made my way to the bathroom to get cleaned up.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 5: Waking Up

When I finished cleaning up I felt better so I grabbed a bottle of water from behind the bar and made my way to my car outside. Most of the guys were gone, only a few of them left in the workshop so when I left I honked the horn to let them know I was gone and I drove straight to Gemma's to pick up Kyla. I happily pulled into her drive way and went inside to get my baby. I walked into the kitchen and Gemma had her at the sink where she was running a bottle underneath the hot water. I smiled at her and she handed me the baby.

"How was she last night?" I asked her as I gave my little girl kisses.

"Amazing. She pretty much slept all night. Want some coffee?" She answered and handed me the warm bottle. I had left a few of the bottle I had pumped at her house just in case. I nodded and sat at the table so I could feed Kyla. She set the mug in front of me and went to the fridge.

"By the way, have you seen Jax today?" She asked me. I shook my head, "Must be out with Tara again. I can't stand that chick." She said surprising me.

"Who's Tara?" I asked trying not to act too curious about it.

"Just some bitch he's been seeing. I don't trust her. There's something off about her." She told me and I just nodded my head and got up to leave. She kissed my cheek and told me to be careful. I thanked her for last night and left. I drove to the house and when I stopped the car I took a minute and tried to gather my thoughts. I was suddenly confused about the previous night and I wasn't sure what it all meant. He had...and we had...but he was seeing some other girl. I didn't know where I stood. It just figured that it was a one night thing. I was sure of that. I finally decided to just let it go. I had obviously just been another notch on his belt and I wasn't going to worry about it anymore. I had too much going on to do that. I put it out of my head and got my daughter out of her seat to take her inside. Chibs was home for once, and greeted me happily when I walked in.

"I heard ye pull up what took ye so long to come in?" He asked and took Kyla.

"I didn't want to miss the song that was on." I told him and smiled making my way into Kyla's room and grabbing her a clean outfit. After I had gotten her from Chibs and put her fresh clothes on her his phone rang and he said he had to go. I told him goodbye and then I put Kyla down for a nap. I went to my bedroom and and cleaned up awhile by the time I was finished Kyla was awake again so I fed her and changed and her, I started to feel like I had been alone in the house for too long so I put her in the car and drove to the park. I didn't want to be stuck in the house all day with thoughts that I knew I shouldn't be thinking. I put Kyla in her stroller and walked around for awhile pointing things out to her until she fell asleep. I sat on a bench as she napped and watched the people in the park.

I saw a couple pushing their daughter in one of the swings and felt guilty that I couldn't provide a more stable family for my daughter. It didn't bother me most of the time but when I saw things like that I started to think about it. I knew she would have all the love in the world but I also knew when you don't have two parents you can tell that something is missing, even if your life is great. I was still watching the small family at the swings and didn't notice that someone had sat on the other end of the bench. When I turned around I spotted a man with a little boy much older than Kyla and the man was putting a band aid on the little boy's knee. I smiled and made to get up and leave.

"Would you happen to have any germ x?" He asked me. I nodded and handed him the small bottle I kept in my purse. He thanked me and I realized he looked familiar.

"Patrick? Is that you?" I asked and he nodded.

"Oh shit! Kalli?" I nodded and he stood up to hug me.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" I told him and he agreed, Patrick was a good friend of mine in middle school and I hadn't seen him since like 7th grade.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"Being a mommy, and you're obviously a daddy now." I said and smiled at his child. He nodded and patted the small boys head before he ran to the slide.

"What's your little one's name?" He asked looking at her.

"Kyla Ryanne Meadows, your son is a little cutie." I told him and he smiled proudly.

"His name is Leo. My ex had him but I got him now. Mommy life just wasn't her thing." He replied.

"Yeah, same with her dad. He left when I was still pregnant with her. Their loss." He nodded in agreement and we sat on the bench and got caught up on our lives since we had seen each other last. We made plans to get together for lunch sometime and then we parted ways. I drove back home and recognized the bike in the driveway as Opie's. He hadn't been by the house a whole lot lately since he had started to get serious about Donna and I was curious as to what brought him around today. I went in and he was sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Opie, what's up?" I asked as I put Kyla in her playpen to finish her nap.

"I know you're probably the last person that would want to help with this but did you hear about Jax's new girl?" He asked and I nodded so he continued, "Well, they were together a couple years back and she ended it bad, I mean, tore him awful. Anyway, right after they went out the other night I was on my way to the clubhouse and I saw Hale's car outside her house. I asked Jax what that was about and he thinks it was nothing but when I asked her about it she got fidgety and blew me off." He finished looking worried.

"Are you saying you think she's a rat?" I asked him and nodded slowly, "Okay, what am I supposed to do about it?"

"I don't know, Kalli, I'm scared that if I take it to the club that Jax and Clay are gonna have it out and that was cause a shit storm that no one wants to deal with." He said taking his hand down his face afterward.

"Look, just chill. We'll figure something out." I told him and thought about our options for a minute. "I don't know if I could get close to her. She isn't much into socializing with people who associate with the club." I told him and he nodded still in deep thought. "I got it!" I said and he looked at me inquisitively. "Look, tell Donna I want a girl's day and for her to invite Tara, and to meet us at the mall, then at the last minute tell her to text me and say something came up and she can't make it. I'll tell Tara and then see what I can get out of her, okay?" 

"Do you think it will work?" He asked.

"I have no idea, but what other option do we have?" I responded and he nodded getting up and calling Donna. She agreed to it and wished me luck. He hugged me when he got off the phone and then left. I had no idea how I was going to get anything out of Tara when my plan went into action but I also knew that I would try my best to make it happen considering all that was at stake.

_Girl's Day_

I was nervous as hell as I got ready to go. When I had finally finished getting ready I texted Opie to let him know I was leaving and drove to the mall. I didn't have Kyla with me, Gemma had picked her up early that morning to babysit for the day. I drove to the mall and before I got out of my car I took a deep breath and popped my knuckles. I figuratively put on my big girl panties and decided to get it over with. I walked up to the doors of the shopping center and spotted a girl with dark brown hair looking around and I figured it was her.

"Tara?" I asked as I walked up to her. She nodded.

"I'm Kallista, friend of Opie and Donna." I told her.

"Oh, I'm Tara, Jax's girlfriend." She responded. I nodded and we sat on a bench nearby.

"Shit, Donna just texted me. She isn't gonna make it." I said and pulled out my phone to show her the text, "we can still make a day of it though. If you want to?" 

"Yeah, I have nothing better to do so we might as well. Where to first?" She responded and kinda pissed me off to be honest. I pointed to the first shoe store I spotted and walked in behind her. We started shopping and by the time we walked to the checkout it seemed as though she had warmed up to me some. She had started telling me about herself and her family. We decided to get some lunch and found a table in the food court after getting our food.

"So what do you think of the club?" I asked and she made a face.

"I don't know. I mean I get that its a part of Jax's life and all but how important could it really be." She responded rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, I get what you mean, I grew up around it so its the norm for me." I told her.

"That's kinda sad, actually." She said and I was a bit taken aback but kept my face the same and smiled.

"What do you mean? It wasn't sad for me. They have helped me a lot. I mean they aren't the most straight laced people, if you know what I mean." I said and laughed.

"Well, I mean, what kind of life is that for a kid to have. Always worried about losing one parent or the other and all the illegal crap anyone from the club could be arrested at a moments notice and then what. All of it would be for some club." She said and smiled proudly. I felt like something was up but still had no proof. I couldn't jump to conclusions so I kept pushing and tried to be polite about it.

"They don't really get arrested that much. Most of the time the lawyers work their magic and they end up with fines and such. The only guy to get any time in a long ass time is Otto and the guys still really support him." I told her and she nodded and took a bite before responding.

"What I mean is that if someone wanted the club to go down for something it wouldn't be all that hard to setup. They do so much shit that's illegal anyways that getting proof of it would just be a matter of location, and the clubhouse is full of shit that could put one of them away. I'd hate to see what would happen if someone decided to do that." She said like it was plain for anyone to see.

"They take care of rats." I responded and my phone rang thankfully. It was Gemma. I answered it and she said she had some things she needed to do at TM and she needed me to get Kyla. I told her I would and then hung up.

"Hey, sorry hun I gotta go. I gotta pick up my daughter. It's been fun though. Thanks for shopping with me." I said to Tara who was still sitting at the table.

"Oh yeah, sure." She said and I left. She was so flippant and seemed to be arrogant to me. I left and picked up Kyla. When I got to my house I took Kyla inside and fed her before calling Opie.

He answered on the first ring.

"Yeah, its Ope."

"Its Kalli, I got something, it ain't much but its something." I told him.

"What is it?"

"Well, she didn't actually say anything about talking to Hale but she did say how easy it would be to get proof of something illegal the club had done. I got the vibe she had done more than think about it. I'd say something is going on and the quicker you let Jax know the better."

"Alright, thanks, Kalli. Don't worry about it, I'll figure the rest out." He said before we hung up. I worried about what Jax would think about it. I wasn't even sure he would believe what I said. I decided not to worry about it, it wasn't my business and I knew the club would handle it.

_A few days later_

I hadn't heard anything else about the whole Tara situation and I didn't think much of it until a couple days later when the prince of the MC himself pulled up in the driveway. He knocked before coming in which I found odd because he didn't normally do that. I opened the door and told him to come in. He walked in and looked around for a second before sitting on the couch. I was holding Kyla so I sat in the rocking chair beside the couch and began to rock her gently.

"Why are you here, Jax?" I asked him and he looked at me with a very serious look on his face.

"You went to the mall with Tara the other day right?" I nodded, "Opie told me what you said. I didn't think much of it until I talked to Hale yesterday." I was shocked and nodded for him to continue. 

"He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about, so I talked to Unser and he said that Hale is telling everyone he is working on a way to take down SAMCRO. He said that Hale had an insider and after everything Opie told me it has to be Tara. I just I don't know what to do." He told me before sitting back exasperated on the couch.

"Have you told Clay?" I asked and he nodded. 

"Then, Jax, there is nothing you can do. I know you probably care for her but she has to be dealt with." I said and he nodded solemnly. His phone rang and he answered it.

"I gotta go. That was Clay, church in twenty minutes." He said and looked nervous.

"Don't worry Jax, I'm sure you aren't the first guy this has happened to." I told him and he left. I could tell he was in love with the rat and I knew after the club dealt with her he was going to be a mess.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my OC's. No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter 6: Take Care

The same night Jax had stopped by I was laying in bed almost asleep when my phone rang. I sat up and answered it. It was Chibs.

"Darlin' we need ye to come to the clubhouse." He said and I was confused.

"What's going on? I can't just leave the baby alone." I responded.

"Gemma is on her way to stay with the baby, when she gets there get over here as soon as ye can, okay?" He said.

"Yeah, okay. I'll be there soon." I told him and we hung up. I got up and got dressed and when I was done I heard Gemma pull up. I quietly let her in and left. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew it couldn't be good. Chibs had never had me come to the clubhouse that late and with everything that had happened the past few days I was a bit nervous as to what it could be. I got there as quick as I could and went inside. All the guys were in the 'chapel' and Chibs motioned for me to come in. I noticed Jax sitting near Clay with his head in his hands. I went over to where Chibs was sitting and stood behind him. I was beyond scared.

"We know about Tara and we have decided on how to deal with her. However, we need you to help us carry it out." Clay said and everyone looked at me.

"What do you need me to do?"

"She doesn't have to do this. I can handle it." Jax spoke up.

"We need her help, Jax, that's the only way this is going to get done." Clay told him.

"Then let her choose for herself. Just know that you don't have to do this. Its up to you." Jax said looking at me.

"I will help the club, you all have always helped me." I said and Jax didn't look happy but didn't say anything else.

Clay told me the plan and I was okay with it. Jax said he was fine with it and we all walked out of the room and into the bar area. All I had to do was call her and tell her that Jax was hurt and for her to meet us at the old abandoned mill on the outskirts of town. I'd have to get her to come alone and when she got there I'd have to hit her on the back of her neck to knock her out and let the rest of the guys take care of her. I had agreed to do it for the club but I wanted to do it for Jax. He hated himself for being the one to fall for a rat and the fact that he had to ask me for help didn't help him. We still hadn't talked about the night of my birthday and I didn't expect us to. As a matter of fact I really didn't want to think about that night ever again. I had a couple beers at the bar and decided to crash there rather than drive home so late so I went to apartment in the back and pretty much passed out on the bed. I woke up the next day and knew what I had to do.

I took a shower there and put on one of the SAMCRO t shirts laying around. I walked out and Bobby had a pot of coffee on and I gladly accepted a cup of it. I was a bit nervous about what I had to do but I knew I could pull it off. I finished my coffee and spotted Gemma walking in with Kyla in her stroller. I smiled and went over to where she was. She said she was fine last night and I thanked her. She was going to watch her for me later when I was gone. Jax walked out of the chapel a few minutes later with Clay behind him. He winked at me and I just looked away, I wasn't going to fall for that again. He looked confused and walked to the garage after greeting his mom. Clay sat down beside me and put his arm around my shoulders.

"You okay, kid?" He asked and I nodded at him. He smiled at me and told me everything was going to be fine and then he got up and went to talk to Gemma. Chibs didn't say anything to me when he got there but he did smile at me and I walked outside with him to smoke a cigarette.

"I thought ye didn't smoke?" He asked as he handed me one.

"Only on stressful days." I replied.

"Kalli, you're riding out with Jax later." Bobby said as he came outside with a beer in hand. I nodded and finished my cigarette before walking back in. I spent the day at the clubhouse and when it got dark Gemma took Kyla to her house and it was time for us to go. Everyone went outside and everyone except Jax and myself took off to the mill. I walked over to his bike and took the helmet from him.

"You okay?" He asked and I nodded, "I just want to say thanks for everything, okay."

"I know Jax, its fine." I told him and got on behind him. We got to the old mill and he stopped the bike so we could get off. He looked pained before he turned his face away and kicked it over to make it look as though he had wrecked. I laughed at him and he shot me a death glare.

"Alright, help me get this dirt on my clothes." He said and I started to put dirt on his shirt and face before I pushed him over and he landed face first. We had to make it look semi real. It was dark so it didn't have to be too authentic he just had to look a bit rough.

"You didn't have to push so hard." He said and looked at me. I rolled my eyes at him and got myself ready for the phone call. I started breathing heavily to make it sound like I was scared and I even managed to squeeze a few tears out before I pulled the prepaid phone out of my pocket and dialed the number Jax had given me. She picked up quickly.

"Oh my God! Tara, you have to get here quick! Its Jax he wrecked his bike!" I said quickly trying to sound frantic.

"Shit, where are you?" She asked sounding worried, I could hear her moving around.

"I-I we're at the old mill! Oh my God! Jax are you okay? Say something Jax please! Tara hurry!" I said and hung up. He was cracking up from where he was laying on the ground.

"What's so funny, Teller?" I said.

"You definitely ain't no actress, darlin'." He said and pushed his head down and watched for Tara's car. I saw it a few minutes later and made myself cry a few more tears as I ran up to her window.

"Tara he's bleeding a lot!" I said as she got out. Her face was white.

"Why didn't you call an-" She said as she walked in front of me to where Jax was laying. I didn't let her finish I just knocked her out and let her fall to the ground. Jax stood up and walked over to me.

"Good job." He said and picked his bike up. Thankfully, he hadn't damaged it at all and he smiled before propping it up. The other guys walked out of the old building and made their way to where we were standing.

"Alright, Kalli, drive her car into that shed over there and then wait outside for us, okay?" Clay said and I nodded. I got in her car and stomped the gas to ram it hard into the shed. The airbags deployed and everything but thankfully my nose didn't break or anything. I got out of her car walked to where Jax bike was sitting and waited. All I knew about what they were doing was that there was a serial killer in a nearby state that hadn't been caught and that's what it was going to look like. I didn't want to know the details. When it was done Jax walked over to where I was standing.

"Ready?" He asked and I nodded. He got on his bike so I got on behind him and put my arms around his waist while my head rested on his shoulder. He put one of his hands over mine and I felt safe with him. I didn't want to feel anything else but I did. I wanted to not feel the desire inside myself when his skin touched mine but I couldn't stop it. I shivered behind him and he twitched a bit but he didn't say anything. We got back to the clubhouse and I gave him his helmet back before going inside and sitting at the bar. Everyone took a shot, myself included and everyone said I did a good job. I thanked them for saying so and then put the nights events out of my head including the little shiver I had experienced.

Jax went straight into the chapel with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and I went to the apartment to get some sleep. The next day was Jax's turn to act. He had to call Hale and pretend like he was pissed that he couldn't find Tara anywhere and get real tore up over it. I was afraid what had happened with her was going to destroy him. He still felt like an idiot for falling for a rat. I put everything out of my head and went to sleep.

I woke up and turned over to find a sleeping Jax next to me and I jumped up and turned the light on. He grumbled and turned over to shield his face from the light.

"Jax what the fuck are you doing in here?" I asked loudly.

"Huh...oh my bad. I passed out. Sorry." He replied sleepily. He sat up and rubbed his face before getting up and walking out without another word. I was thoroughly confused but I went to take a shower and get ready to get my daughter.

I walked out of the apartment and Gemma was already there with Kyla. I smiled and went and picked up Kyla. Jax was already in the chapel and on the phone acting like he was pissed. Gemma asked what was up and I just shrugged. I figured if Clay hadn't told her than she didn't need to know. I stayed at the clubhouse for awhile and then it was time for me to go to lunch with Patrick. I put Kyla in the car and Gemma came out and asked where I was going.

"Where ya runnin off to, kid?"

"Got lunch with an old friend. I'll be back in a couple hours." I told her and she kissed my cheek and told me to be careful. I smiled and drove off. I parked at the small diner in town and got Kyla out. I spotted Patrick's brown hair from the door and sat across from him in the booth he had selected.

"Hey sorry I'm late, busy today. How are you two?" I asked and smiled at his son.

"We're good. Leo's daycare was closed for today so I thought I'd bring him along." He said and ruffled the young boy's hair.

"Of course." I smiled and the waitress came over to get our orders. We talked all through lunch and though I didn't want to I couldn't stop myself from comparing him to Jax. He was boring. He was completely nice and sweet and boring. I was half asleep before the lunch was finished.

When I was finished eating I said, "Well, this has been fun, but Kyla and I have to get back to the clubhouse and see Gemma. Bye, Patrick and bye, Leo." I smiled and walked back out to my car. I shook my head at myself as I drove off, he was a nice guy and I should have given him more of a chance but my stupid head was stuck on Jax and he wouldn't leave my thoughts. I was a bit angry with myself actually. I knew I shouldn't have been thinking about Jax. He obviously didn't think of me as anything other than a quick lay and I needed to think of him that way but there was something in me that kept saying he's perfect, his hair, those eyes, and when his skin touched mine I couldn't deny that there was something there. On the way to the clubhouse I decided I was going to tell Gemma about it and see if she could help me figure it out. She had helped me with the pregnancy and does more than enough to help me with Kyla so I figured she'd keep it between us.

**A/N: I haven't gotten any bad reviews yet which makes me extremely happy! I hope everyone who is reading is liking it so far. I am working hard to write more chapters and update quickly. Thank you for reading and if you want to review feel free to do so :) also, wondering what everyone would think if I did the next chapter (possibly more than one) from Jax's point of view? Let me know. Thanks again.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my original characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

Chapter 7: Being Seen and Unseen

_Jax's POV_

I had gone been working on some random car that had come in when Deputy Hale's patrol car pulled into the lot. I knew what he was going to say but I played like I was curious. I wiped my hands on a rag and walked out of the garage towards where he was standing.

"Got anything on Tara?" I asked feigning worry.

He looked down for a second before looking in my eyes and nodding, I let my eyes go big before urging him to tell me what it was.

"Jax, we found her body out by the old mill. It looks like she drove out there and hit a nearby shed before being attacked. Everything points to the serial killer in the area. I am sorry. We have pulled out all the stops to catch this guy and you need to let us do our job this time, okay?" Hale finished.

I didn't say anything I just nodded and turned away making my way into the clubhouse. I went up to the bar where Bobby was standing and told him Hale bought it. I was relieved in a way that things were going just as we had all planned but at the same time I still felt like an idiot. I shouldn't have bought it into her bullshit. I should have known her plan the moment she set foot in this town after all those years. I shook my head and downed the shot in front of me. Chibs came and sat down beside me.

"Kalli's here." He said and pointed to the door where she was walking in with Kyla's car seat. I walked over to her.

"Hey, Jax, I just talked to Hale, heard everything's good." She said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

"Yeah, thanks again for your help, kid." I said she smiled and nodded before moving to walk past me. Her arm brushed against mine and I knew I felt something. I had the night we slept together I just kept denying it. I couldn't be with her and I knew it. She might be cut out for all the club shit but she deserved way better. I walked out the door and Clay was waiting for me.

"Heard the news." He said and I nodded. He patted me on the back and went into the clubhouse. I continued to my bike and quickly took off. I needed air and time to think.

_Kallista's POV_

I walked over to where Chibs was sitting and he kissed my cheek. I set Kyla's seat on the bar and he got her out of it.

"Can you keep an eye on her for me? I need to talk to Gem." I requested and he nodded. I thanked him and went to find Gemma, she was walking out of the office towards the clubhouse when I walked out. I waved and she smiled walking over to me.

"Hey, sweetheart, how ya doin?" She asked as we sat across from each other at the picnic table outside.

"Confused." I answered simply.

"About?"

"A lot of things." I said and sighed before lighting a cigarette.

"A guy, huh?" She inquired and I blushed.

"How'd you know?"

"You never get confused about anything, and if there is one thing that confuses every woman its a guy." She responded and laughed. "So who is this magnificent guy?"

"Well, he's um," I stuttered.

"He really does have you flustered, well, look you don't have to give me any specifics. I won't push. I promise, just tell me what you need me to help with okay?"

I nodded and said, "We spent a night together, and no I'm not pregnant again, we used protection. The problem is that I don't think he sees me. At least not the way I want him to. I don't know how to change that. I feel something though and I know it sounds crazy, Gem, even I think its crazy but when my skin touches his something rushes through me." I said quickly and sighed before laughing at myself.

She thought for a minute before she responded, "I think that he sees you. I think you need to see you. What I mean by that is you need to see yourself as the beauty that you are. If you see yourself that way then it won't matter if he does or not. We need to go shopping now." she finished and grabbed my hand pulling me into the clubhouse. She walked over to where Chibs was with Kyla. 

"You watch the kid for awhile for us?" She asked and he nodded. She told him to call if he needed anything and then pulled me to her car before pulling out of the lot. We got to the shopping center not too long after and she took me to her favorite store. She grabbed about a million things that ranged anywhere from skinny jeans to studded heels to bedazzled tank tops. I shook my head as she pushed me into the dressing room to try stuff on. I found quite a lot that actually looked really good and things she approved of so once we left there she took me straight to the salon. I just let the stylist do her magic and by the time all of it was finished it was dark outside and my nails, my hair, and my makeup were all done. Gemma told me to change in the bathroom at the salon and I followed her suggestion as to what to wear. I looked in the mirror and I had side bangs and slight highlights in my hair. My makeup was phenomenal and made my eyes pop. The outfit I had on was kinda tight but sexy and the jeans were to die for. I had no idea my ass could look so good. I walked out to Gemma and she wolf-whistled at me. I rolled my eyes and we left. She took me to the clubhouse and told me to wait in the car. I was confused but did as I was told.

She came back out with Kyla, "What's going on?" I asked as she put Kyla's seat in the back.

"They're having a party and you're going." She told me and I shook my head.

"I have Kyla, plus, they don't want me here." I said though I was thinking of one biker in particular.

"Bull, Chibs asked me where you were and why would they give a shit, all of them are drunk anyway." She said and laughed. "Look, Kalli, you need to go in there and shake that ass and be the beautiful woman I know you are. Dance and party like there is no one around. Don't worry about this cutie she is staying with me tonight." She smiled and I got out.

"Just call me if you need me to come get her, okay?" She nodded and left. I lit a cigarette and took a couple of long drags from it before squashing it on the pavement and making my way into the clubhouse. I didn't see Jax's bike out front so a bit of nerves were gone. I took a deep breath and walked in. The party was already going pretty strong but Chibs saw me and came over to greet me.

"Wow, ye look beautiful, doll." He said and kissed my cheek before leading me to the bar. I told him about my day and we did a few shots together and then he found himself a sweetbutt to talk to. I laughed at him and went to sit on the couch after grabbing a beer. Opie and Donna came in and she came over to me. We talked about the wedding plans before getting up to dance together. Kendra and Juice came in a little bit later and she came over to join us. I lost myself in the music and danced like no one was watching just like Gemma had told me to do.

_Jax POV_

I walked into the clubhouse and went straight to where Opie, Juice, Bobby, and Tig were standing.

"What's up, bro?" Opie asked and I shook my head as I stood beside to watch the party. I saw Donna and Kendra but couldn't see who was dancing in between them. I could tell it was a female but I wasn't sure who it was. She had the best ass I'd ever seen and those hips were moving like a sex goddess.

"Who's the hottie dancing with Donna?" I asked and all four of them looked at me. "What?"

"You don't recognize her?" Juice asked and when I shook my head he laughed. I was confused but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"You really have no idea who she is?" Tig asked and laughed.

"No, fuckin' tell me already!" I replied getting frustrated.

"Dude, its Kalli." Opie said. My jaw dropped.

"No way." I responded and he just nodded. The three females made their way to where we were standing. They were laughing and Kalli looked at me before blushing.

"Hey, Jax." She said and I knew it was her but she looked completely different. I didn't know what to say so I just smiled and nodded at her. She whispered to Kendra who nodded and then walked towards the bathroom.

"When did she do all that?" I asked and Donna laughed at me.

"Gemma took her for a makeover today, wipe the drool off your chin, geez." Kendra replied teasing me. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the bar. Donna and Kendra had managed to pull Opie and Juice into dancing. I laughed at how stupid they looked and turned back to get a beer. I spotted Kalli walking back in and she made her way to the bar.

_Kalli's POV_

I could tell I was at least buzzing as I walked over to the bar because things were getting a bit cloudy. I sat down beside Jax and grabbed a beer. 

"Where were you today?" I asked and he turned to face me.

"Here and there." He said and chuckled a bit. I was sure he was laughing at how I looked so I looked down.

"I know I look ridiculous, it was Gemma's idea." I said fiddling with the bottom of the strapless top I had on. I felt ridiculous. I knew I couldn't pull of the look. I just wanted him to see me.

"Thanks for the drink, Jax." I said feeling a bit sad. I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

"Sit." He said and I did. "You don't look ridiculous. You look great." He finished and smiled brightly. I blushed but smiled as well.

"So what were you really doing today?" I asked and took a long pull from my beer.

"Nothing you need to worry about, darlin' just personal things." He said and winked at me. I loved when he said darlin.

"And what's that mean?" I slurred. He just laughed and told the prospect behind the bar to pour us a shot. I downed the dark liquid and watched as he did the same. I was definitely drunk by that point because I said something that I would want to smack myself for later.

"So, I have a question." I said feeling warm.

"Oh, and just what is that?" He asked with a sly smile that did funny things to my womanly parts.

"The night of my birthday, why?" I asked and watched as his smile faded a bit. "Nevermind." I said and I stood up and walked outside. Of course he didn't want to talk about it. I was right he was never going to see me as anything other than a one night stand. I knew it I just didn't want to believe it. As usual I had been wrong. I began walking mindlessly and made my all the way around the back of the clubhouse. Go figure. I shook my head and attempted to light a cigarette but I couldn't see well enough to get my lighter lit. Out of no where there were two hands with a lit match in front of me.

I got my cig lit and thanked whoever it was.

"Not a problem, darlin." He replied and I cringed.

"Why'd you come out here?" I asked.

"I think I gave you the wrong impression." He answered.

"Look, I get it, okay. My birthday was a one time thing and that's blatantly obvious now. Don't worry about it. I'm fine." I said taking a drag from my cigarette.

He lit his own cigarette and took a drag from it before responding, "Kalli, that's not what I meant. I meant that you don't deserve the kind of shit that I will put you through and neither does Kyla, you are beautiful and I don't regret one second of that night but that's all it can be. I won't put you and your daughter in the kind of jeopardy that my lifestyle brings. I knew even as we were connected that night that it would only be the one time and for me that's enough because one moment with you is worth a million moments with someone else. I'm sorry. I wish it could be different but the club is my life and I won't pull you into something like that." He finished and kissed my cheek before going back inside. A single tear fell down my cheek before I wiped it off and walked back inside to find a way home.

I walked up to the nearest prospect and asked him to take me home. I think his name was Kip. He agreed and after I had told Chibs goodbye I walked outside with the prospect. I showed him my car and gave him the keys. He seemed really nice. He didn't ask what was wrong when I started crying he just kept driving and he looked over at me a few times I think to make sure I was still breathing rather than the fact that I was bawling my eyes out. He stopped the car at my house and I went inside. He left my keys in the glove compartment and started walking back to the clubhouse. I thanked him and he waved. I went straight to bed after texting Gemma to let her know that I'd pick up Kyla in the morning and before my head hit the pillow I was out.

**A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update but at least I'm doing so now. Thank you to all of the new followers and my reviewers. I really do appreciate all of you. I am working on another chapter as I am posting this one so at least you have something to look forward to :)**


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